Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Brief on Sex
Listening to the radio in the car, there was that phrase, "I'm in to having sex, I ain't in to making love."
It made me think of something the great Deacon Bob MacDonald once said: "The greatest turn-on for a man is to see that he is giving his wife pleasure." I don't remember his exact words, but that was their general orientation.
I don't want to talk about myself other than to say that I agree with the Deacon, not the rapper. I understand where the rapper's sentiment comes from, but consider it a testimony to something very sad.
Our obsession with sex today is not mere hedonism. It is loneliness disguising itself as virtue.
Even in that 'misogynistic' and un-modern work, The Iliad, do I detect something of the tenderness I am referring to. Though it's been a while since I've read it, I remember a reference in it to the fact that the soldiers were without the comfort of their wives' embraces. In a book that focuses on the exploits of the greatest men Bronze Age Greeks could imagine, that is rather striking, isn't it?
We don't generally think we can pay for hugs and kisses, so why do we cheapen the other aspects of our sexual nature? I am not a big fan of massages either - I think they are a little too sexual, though I don't wish to argue anything about it here and now. Is not the fact that massages have become such a central aspect of health care something to be wondered at too?
Feminists' obsession with orgasms, homosexuality, trans-sexualism - all loneliness and meaninglessness put in materialistic or metaphysical forms. Once again it is easy for me to see that there is no such thing as social progress. We choose new things, call the old things bad, but many of the new things we choose are worse than what we left behind.
Love involves frustration and powerlessness because we cannot manufacture it, as we have been able to manufacture almost everything else in our lives, thanks to James Watt, Eli Whitney, Gutenberg, and Edison. This is why we have such a hard time with it today. Love depends upon the free will of the other. If it is not free, it is not love. And so we blame. We blame our faulty DNA for turning us into a man, rather than into the women we were 'supposed to be.' We blame the other person for his coldness, her frailty, whatever. The fact is, love involves the metaphysics of the old world, perfectly intelligible to someone like Homer. We cannot control every outcome but that does not mean that it is bad.
We need to, once again, get used to a world where we are not in control. We will be the better for it. But it requires a profound change of outlook.