Sunday, November 23, 2014

Women be Strong in a Womanly Way

Sometimes less is more, but having comes across
this picture - I just love it - I see how well
it expresses our need to be beautiful
and to fit in.

Maybe it's the countless number of books on marriage (actually, seven) I've been reading in preparation for the next issue of the Catholic Review Books.
from 1950

Maybe it's the two-second intersection with a girl in Pembroke the other day.

Maybe it's reading Matt Walsh's blog.

It's all three, actually.

What happened with the girl? Nothing, really, I just noticed that she spoke in a deep voice. What's weird about that? I notice girls speak with deeper voices now. Does this mean anything? Is it even true?

Everything I say is true.

from 1953
And here's my theory: girls are not 'allowed' to be feminine anymore. Because of feminism, and because of the fact that all of the old protections have been stripped away, and girls are now vulnerable as they have never been before. Enter CBC broadcaster and black American comedian.

Girls are vulnerable in this world run by men, a world which no longer has any absolute standard to protect them. ('Consent' is not an absolute standard that can actually protect women.)

So now girls mimic men. Makes sense: they laugh with deep guttural laughs. They talk in deep voices. They dress in an flatteringly manner (when they dress at all).

Can you blame them?

from 2003
But you know, these are not strong women, these are weak men.

I know a tonne of strong women. They are the most feminine women I know too. (Hey, blog reading ladies, yes, I am likely thinking about you!)

My wife would be a case in point. She has not sacrificed her femininity (thank God! - she is so beautiful!) and she has and is raising six children. And she stands up to me.

from 2013
My town is full of amazing models of femininity like her. They are comfortable enough as women as not to need to be like men. One friend, for instance, refuses to watch The Walking Dead with her husband, and although it's the best show on TV ever, I like that she refuses to watch it. There is something womanly about that.

It's hard being a woman today, I'm sure - I have four daughters, so I know something about girls trying to figure out what it is to be a girl today. I hate that the older two now refuse to wear pink. My third loves it, because she hasn't been told by older girls that this is too girly - yet.

Voices. I don't speak in a low voice. I can sing baritone and I can sing in just about any other register. I can speak in a low voice if I like. But I don't feel like proving my manhood that way, as I have seen many teenage boys trying to over the years. Homosexual men change their voices to fit in with what they are trying to prove. And now we see that girls, especially in their 20s, are lowering theirs. There is no vulnerability today like 20-year-old vulnerability. There is no surprise in any of this. It's just sad.

And / or does the pill do this to their voices?


  1. Not sure if a deeper voice in a side effect of the pill. The hormones involved have their fingers in so many different pies, I wouldn't be surprised, but there are natural variations in women's voices.

    I find it interesting when you say women should be strong in a womanly way - as I've spent a long time pondering what that actually means. (I haven't figured it all out, just in case you're wondering). I think sometimes a woman's strength looks like a man's…at times they will have to be rather unemotional or hone their physical strength. But further than that, I think strength, for both men and women, means being radically present to the real world - feeling feelings, letting emotions come and go as they need to and not being washed away by them, and then doing what is needed in the moment. That is strength, right there and it means not only being present to the outside world and the immediate situations and circumstances around us, but also being true to one's gender - am I female, what does that mean for me right now - and then acting on it. It takes a great deal of strength and character to be who you are and not be afraid of it. (I smell a blog post coming on)

    The funny thing about it is we rarely feel strong, especially when we're talking about anything other than physical strength. It's easy to feel strong when you're benching 300 lbs, but other than that, we all usually feel like wet noodles.

  2. Well, I don't know how women feel. But, yes, I feel strong and confident walking outdoors at night, knowing that I can bench 300 lbs. I suppose a woman can and should feel strong when she is able to fulfill her vocation. Physical strength is a part of mine. We have to bloom where we are planted, and women are planted in the field of lady-flowers (?), I mean, they are women and must perfect their nature as such: to love, to unite, to console, to nourish, to heal, etc. When we ponder what being a woman is and what a man, it is important to get right back to the Blessed Virgin, for women and to Christ the Lord or St. Joseph for men, and meditate, to cut off everything extraneous to this vision of what men and women are and get right to the heart of the matter. No, I don't mean to look at pictures of these holy people. I mean look at the vision of them that forms in the soul of the person in quiet contemplation. The pictures, too often, interfere with this. So many of them distract me from the truth of these people: JMJ, I mean.

  3. Here in Halifax, the reality is changing somewhat. Now if you meet a girl who has a deep voice, she might just be a transgender. I'm not kidding, this is happening more and more often. One fellow came to the 40 Days vigil to protest it, he dresses like a woman, wears makeup, has a woman's haircut, but the laugh! stunning, deep male laugh. I have seen him since, he is always dressed as a woman, goes by the name of Jude, and identifies as a woman. He is not alone. I find this quite disturbing.