1. A wooden spoon is an outward sign of an inward pain, instituted by dad.
2. He asks, is it a blessing to have beer in the work place?
3. Our workplace politics mostly consist in arguments about who stinks the worst, who is the laziest and how many glasses of juice so-and-so had today.
4. A great theologian is respected everywhere he happens to be alone. This is usually in the bathroom.
5. Not every moment at home with the family is precious, but there's no preciousness to be had anywhere else.