Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Is Blogging a Woman's World?

An American blogger decided yes a few months or so ago. (I don't remember who wrote that, if you recall, please let me know so I can include the link here.)

Herein I dissent from him ex hypothesi, though not de facto.

A. I am Madly in Love with my Husband

This is what got me thinking about this topic today, the sentiment oft expressed by women bloggers - I will not mention any names here - who say in their blog bios that they are in love - hopelessly, etc. - with their husbands.

Is this kind of thing pro forma for married Catholic women - i.e., expected by the genre? Or are these women actually desperately in love with their husbands, as if they were just dating, or newly weds?

I find it all very peculiar. But, you know - alas - a man as erudite as I am, has been unaware for most of his married life that he too is 'madly' or 'hopelessly' in love with his wife. I think the second post I ever wrote on thetheologyofdad was about being surprised that I was not missing Anne-Marie, who was away for about four days for her sister's wedding. Fine. The other day I was out for a short walk and I realized I missed Anne-Marie - and the kids. I was less than a mile from home. How gay.

How does one not know that he is madly in love with his wife? Because he takes her for granted. She is always there.

I am not 'dating in-love' or 'newly-wed in love'. I am just simply - in the words of Star Trek's Data - habituated to her presence: "My neural pathways have become accustomed to her sensory input patterns." How gushy. If that sounds cold, I pray you will interpret it as I meant it. This habituation is not accidental. I have allowed myself to become habituated to her, because I like it, rather, I love it. As infatuation wanes, hopefully, love comes in.

So, the moral of the story is this: I find the statements these women-bloggers make peculiar, but that doesn't mean that they experience love in a childish way, as their words seem to suggest to someone like me who is not inclined to speak that way. Others may find my 'neural pathways' statement cold and cerebral; I do not.

B. What do the Men Blog about, What the Women?

When I think of Canadian Catholic men-bloggers I think of people like Lilley, Prendergast, etc. I think of men as churchy and as interested in politics, especially pro-life politics. Some, like me, are primarily interested in theology. I have had many women say they read my 'dad' stuff but not necessarily the 'theology', stuff. * Sniff * These are the women bloggers, predominantly, because there are other women who read my theology stuff (but who do not blog!).

Yet some men write about domestic stuff. Again, me, Mike Landry, TiPSI Dad, David Schram, etc. Their interest is not solely devoted to family stuff, though - and that might be the key point in all of this. I can name a dozen SCCB women bloggers who exclusively blog about family life, though not a single man.

What is it about the genders that make it so? Men are usually in the world working more and women usually home more. Makes sense. Is there more to it? A male friend of mine has recently taken to baking with abandon. It seems peculiar. Maybe he's just hungry? He isn't violating natural law here, of course. But have you seen me ever blogging about food - other than the occasional spaghetti dinner?

Facts vs. feelings? I don't know. There is something not fair in that distinction. I feel my thoughts. I love my books and my facts. No, they're not thoughts about pies, knitting and weaning, but they are human, nevertheless, so it seems to me.

But why is Catholic blogging a woman's world? Women like to communicate more, I guess.

There are no answers to be had here. In the end, random zombies


  1. I am annoyed by the bios that include "I am madly in love with my husband". I always wonder why these women need to affirm this in their bios but I think that it might be an over-romanticising of their marital lives. Or maybe they just are. I have never been overly romantic so I would find it very out of character to write such a thing in my bio. But many of starry-eyed young women grow up and remain so. All the power to them. And I do read your theology stuff.

  2. Maybe they are!

    What's that like? haha

    As for the theology stuff, I will quiz you later, Elena...