Wednesday, March 7, 2012

A Wedding Invite

Yes, we got our first wedding invitation of the season today.

Sounds like a nice segue to what I would have likely blogged about anyway.

Yes, wedding season is upon us. The good folks of the Church - dear friends of ours here in this deanery in the Pembroke Diocese - have been doing their thing with 'marriage prep' this winter, telling people all about marital chastity and all that. Are their disciples ready?

A quick observation: less than 1% of married life with be spent in the 'martital act.' How much of your 'discernment' of marriage was focused on it, though? I bet more than 1%. If I can give thetheologyofdad one sentence long version of marriage prep it is this: What about that other 99+ % ? Sure, he/she is beautiful, but is he/she someone you want to spend countless hundreds of thousands of hours with outside of the bedroom?

What am I suggesting by this? Hardly any married person will tell you that if they had it to do over again they would have paid more attention to their spouses sexual attributes and focused less on their moral life, their ability to do hard work, say a kind word, hold their tongue, communicate more effectively, about how much they drink, what kind of a parent they are / will be, etc., etc.

Yes, sex is important in a marriage. In fact, it is more than less than 1% important. Why? Simply because we believe it is. There is no use saying it shouldn't be this way. Augustine tells us that before the Fall it was exactly 1% important.Well, what he actually says is that is was in its right place. Now, of course, it is not; it is disproportionately important. That's fine. We have to deal with that. All that I would like to say to those contemplating marriage is: don't set yourself up for a fall by marrying a body that you love, but a person you don't really know. But alas, young hormones won't listen... ;-)

"Honey, the baby's poopy and I'm totally hung over! You might want to take that dress off first..."


BTW, when I entered 'working woman' into Google's Image Search to look for a competing image with the girl above and ninety percent of the images that appeared were of woman sitting in front of laptop computers. What would an alien life form conclude from that? Would do young women conclude from that?


  1. You really are the fun wrecker...aren't ya?!
    But I do agree - people talk all about being "sexually compatible" these days but really, are you morally or religiously compatible? I think that's WAY more important.

  2. A certain professor here said that our students think that marriage is dating plus sex. Well said.

  3. segway? Did you mean this or another word? ;-)

  4. segue - is what I meant. Thanks, JD

  5. I never quite thought about it like that, but your calculation is pretty right on. Throwing this out there, though. Seems to me that for contracepting couples (as in non-NFP users) the percentage would be higher, hence the preoccupation with sexual compatibility. Since the majority of couples live together before marriage, I would think it's because they want to share readily available sex together and not cooking, cleaning and paying bills. That's just speculation on my part. Maybe they do like cooking :)

  6. Contraceptive sex is something I can do little more than speculate about. I often wonder about women on the pill - they never have a fertile period so, despite the fact that they aren't worried about pregnancy, they aren't 'interested' anyway, at least not biologically. It's not something I envy.
    Further, sex is a mine-field of psychological questioning: is it love, is it use, etc.? Contraception is made for men, and deep-down, I think women realize that.

  7. What I meant to add was that NFP does/can/should point toward respect - the respect of waiting and caring despite 'use.'

  8. The fun part about this issue, that Holy Father John Paul II's theology of the body is the antidote...God Bless!

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