A. As often happens, I fell asleep while putting my three-year-old to bed. Going to bed at 7 or 7:30 means a full night's sleep is attained by 3 or 4 am. So, I wake up sharing the cramped quarters of a single bed with a boy who seems always to be in that bed's exact geographic centre, and decide to go to my bed. Expecting to find a few people there, I am greatly delighted to see that it's empty. Now I can go to its exact geographic centre. You think I can sleep?
B. Kids say the darnedest things. Three-year-olds are the best. You say white, suddenly, undeniably, it's black, or red, or poop. Probably poop.
C. "Are you done watching your show, Stephen?"
"It's not my show. It's everybody's show."
D. Archbishop of Ottawa, shaking his hand, asks, "What's your name?"
"What's your name?"
E. Sometimes I walk into my house at the end of the day and my initial impression is we have company. Nope, they're all mine.
F. Irony. Anne-Marie and I are both desperately trying to get the other to go to Rebecca's 'friendship party' at school so we don't have to.
G. Wife comes home from a shopping excursion with a sore wrist. I need a raise.